Drops of Something

I'm a little tired today.

Also, my ears are incessantly ringing because I stood too close to the speaker at the Pat Green concert in Hollywood last night.  Yes, that Pat Green.  I haven't seen so many boots and cowboy hats in Los Angeles since the Rose Bowl.

I'm also a little emotional.  I have no reasoning for this, so just bear with me.  I was reading this charming little book called "Koala Lou" to my boss' 7 year old daughter last night and I literally had to choke out the last page through my tears.  She laughed hysterically.  Oh, to be 7 and not know the bittersweet stepping stones on the path to adulthood.

Oy freaking vey.  It's sad though.  And it just made me want to hug my mom.  (Love you, Mamasita.)

This whole mess adds up to me being nostalgic (Pat Green) delusional (lack of sleep) and a big blubbering crying mess (Koala.)

Therefore, I've come to some revelations.

And they probably won't make any sense to anyone other than myself.  Here goes...

I am terrified of being a "Drops of Jupiter" girl.

Did ya catch that? Really, no?

Suffice it to say that Train and Sugarland are having a battle in my head.

Drops of Jupiter-this song comes on the radio all the stinking time.  If you know me at all you know that I place great value upon the songs that I hear on the radio.  It's weird and superstitious and wrong.

Take a listen...

So my fear here is that I'm the girl who's wandering around the atmosphere, (hopefully my head is glistening with drops of something) and that someday someone will say to me "Did you sail across the sun- did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights are faded, and heaven is overrated... And tell me, did Venus blow your mind- was it everything you wanted to find and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"  "Me" in this case being all of my lovies back in Texas.

I am terrified of finding that I have spent my time frivolously chasing after "faded" lights and an "overrated" heaven.

But I tell you- the second I start wondering these things too much, Sugarland pops in to save the day.  The current radio message is "Settlin'."

Now, I would like to point out that I am taking this from a "life" point of view as opposed to a "love" point of view.  Such girl power going in this one, right?  She's not settling, or setting the bar low, or giving up, or fearing that she is wasting time.  And I shouldn't either...

So you see my conundrum...

(And I'd like to point out- I'm not plagued by this like it might seem, I'm just feeling needy today.)

The only answer I've found for all these wanderings comes from the place where all my answers lie...

"For the LORD gives wisdom; 

From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;

7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; 
He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; 

8 He guards the paths of justice, 
And preserves the way of His saints. 

9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice, 
Equity and every good path."

-Proverbs 2: 6-9

In all these things, I am exceedingly comforted by the fact that as long as I am seeking Him wholeheartedly, I cannot be led astray.  My path is not some elusive needle in a haystack that I am searching for, rather my path is my everyday interactions, my work, my conversations.  

Seek ye first...

Amen.